let”s try again -since the last post was quite a while back! spring: rebirth -constant renewal. life goes on, doesn”t it -i suppose, things always do, but somehow i feel the need to seize some control again - feel alive and continually so. i have been having too many “black holes” where i don”t communicate, am too introverted, where getting up every single day is a struggle and keeping up some skeleton of existence. but you can always get up again can”t you. mind you, coping and staying on top of things - for the rest of the world - is one thing. but what about yourself? confronting your demons - is hard enough, never mind talking about it to anyone else. still, sometimes or quite often - people don”t make it easy. it is incredible how much of a barrier we have - in our minds - to accepting the realities of how widespread mental health problems are. we”re all scared of labelling i think - and with good reasons, but sometimes i suppose people are frightened of having carefully constructed facades (that we buy into) from being torn down and seeing “what lies beneath”.

you live and learn - i hope. at any rate, you learn more about yourself, the world, your ideas - so there”s a book in there somewhere. When you have to change the way you think, have thought for a long long long time, there are opportunities - it”s terrifying, but sometimes you don”t have a choice anymore, and I think its probably a good thing to embrace such a challenge..

anyway, here”s to more frequent writing..there is a lot to uncover and think about. i met up with an old friend recently, and it was interesting, good to see him again, but what i think perhaps is so interesting is when i speak about religion and my recent “epiphany”- and this friend, like so many other people, wanted to know why it mattered to me so much, why it bothers me so. i never have a suitable answer ready - how does one explain how ideas and beliefs matter so much?